Written by Kevin Huang
Zhang Shixiong was born on Chinese New Year, 1912, in the village of Hubin, near Zhenjiang, China. He entered the world in a time of great confusion and uncertainty. Although Hubin was a small, out-of-the-way locale far removed from the monumental political and social upheaval of great cities like Shanghai and Nanjing, for months the villagers had still heard rumors of large-scale popular rebellions all across the country, threatening to topple the centuries-old Qing monarchy. No one in Hubin quite understood why the Qing Dynasty was being overthrown, or what would happen if the Emperor were actually deposed. One traveler said that the revolutionaries wished to establish a new form of government called a “republic”, but nobody was sure of what that really meant. Some villagers predicted that the new Republic would consolidate power quickly and restore peace to China once more. Others feared that the overthrow of the Emperor would only throw the country into further chaos, and it would require the emergence of a great hero to reunite the country and bring stability to everything under Heaven again.
Shixiong’s father was an abusive alcoholic who went out drinking every night and subsequently returned home to violently beat and terrorize his children. His mother, on the other hand, was a cold and indifferent person who had absolutely no interest in anything that did not directly concern herself. If Shixiong tried to talk to her about pretty much anything, she would either completely ignore him or tell him, “Look, nobody cares, why don’t you stop wasting my time?” From a young age, Shixiong felt profoundly bitter toward the unfairness of his life. He spent much of his free time daydreaming, imagining himself in a place where he was accepted and loved and free to be himself.
Shixiong’s parents were uneducated peasants who farmed the land, and Shixiong had to work in the fields from an early age. He hated the manual labor, the way the scorching midday sun shone on his back, how the sweat from his forehead mixed with his tears to create a stinging, bitter fluid. Whenever he had a break, Shixiong would walk through the nearby woods, trying to find an escape from his exhausting labor and miserable home life. One day, he came across a clearing and saw a beautiful, clear lake, which paralleled the bright, cloudless sky above. He sat down by the lake and stared into the water, sensing that there was something deeper about the world around him that he failed to understand.
As Shixiong grew older, he found it difficult to make friends with the other children. His father had a very bad reputation in the village, and his communication skills were poorly developed and immature because his parents had instilled in him a great fear of social situations through their physical and emotional abuse. Shixiong spent most of his time in nature, observing the vivid colors and perfect shapes of the foliage, water, and sky around him.
When Shixiong was fifteen, his father ordered him to make a delivery of tea leaves to Mr. Li, the owner of the village teahouse. After making the delivery and receiving the payment, Shixiong decided to stay at the teahouse a little longer and buy a cup of tea for himself. After the cheap green tea he ordered arrived, a pretty girl about his age came up to him and started chatting. She introduced herself as Li Chunmei. Shixiong asked her if she was Mr. Li’s daughter, and her eyes lit up and she started laughing. Her laughter was warm and bright; it reflected the ironies of life but did not judge them. She told him that she was. The two resolved to meet again someday, and Shixiong made the melancholy trudge home, wondering if there was any greater reason for this fateful encounter, or if the random vicissitudes of destiny were just messing with him again.
The next time that his father ordered him to make a delivery for Mr. Li, Shixiong impulsively asked the teahouse owner for a job. Mr. Li initially wanted to tell him no, since he had no job openings, but then he realized how miserable and lonely Shixiong must have been, as Shixiong’s father was widely known throughout the village as a violent and abusive man. The teahouse owner hired Shixiong on the spot. When Shixiong returned home, he assumed that his parents would be furious at him for obtaining the job without prior permission. To his surprise, they had no problems at all with his new job, since he was not good at laboring in the fields anyway and could contribute more to the household working elsewhere.
Shixiong loved his new job. The teahouse was filled with all kinds of interesting characters, from local regulars to travelers looking to make a quick stop. The patrons all had fascinating stories to tell, from the everyday happenings of the village to new developments in faraway lands. From interacting with the people in the teahouse, Shixiong gradually became comfortable being around others. The solitary awkwardness of his earlier youth was beginning to fade away.
Best of all, working at the teahouse meant he could spend more time with Mr. Li’s daughter, Chunmei. When Shixiong and Chunmei were together, there was never a boring moment between them. Chunmei had a vast curiosity for all the happenings and complexities of the world, and could hold a conversation on seemingly any subject, from the daily occurrences of her everyday life, to the folktales she heard about the distant past, to the meaning and purpose of human existence. After work, Shixiong would sometimes take Chunmei to the woods, and they would spend hours simply talking and contemplating the nature of things.
Around this time, the fragile alliance between the Chinese Nationalist Party and the Chinese Communist Party was beginning to collapse. The two parties, with opposing visions for the future of the Chinese nation, had formed a united front to combat the warlords and reunify China once again. However, the two parties’ disagreements eventually became too great, and the coalition fell apart. Civil war soon broke out, and the Nationalists routed the Communists for the time being, resulting in Nationalist rule throughout much of China. The Communists still held onto small pockets, though, and quietly plotted their comeback.
One day, a traveler stopped at the teahouse and ordered a cup of Oolong. He told Shixiong and Chunmei that he was from a Communist from Shanghai, and that Nationalist leader Chiang Kai-shek’s forces were carrying out mass purges and killings of Communists all across Nationalist-held territory. After escaping the massacre in Shanghai, he was now on the run, trying to reach Communist-held Jiangxi Province. Shixiong and Chunmei wished the man good luck, and he was soon on the road again.
After work that day, Shixiong took Chunmei to the woods again. Chunmei was quieter than usual then, and she had a serious and melancholy look in her eyes. The two spent several minutes silent together before she finally spoke.
“Why can’t we all just get along?”
“What do you mean?”
“You heard that man who escaped from the Nationalist forces in Shanghai. Why do the Nationalists and the Communists have to fight each other? It would be so much better for everyone if they could all just get along and resolve to govern and develop China together.”
“Well, I guess some people hold certain ideals, and other people hold other ideals. And when the differing ideals that people hold are incompatible with one another, then conflict will certainly arise. And if people are unable to resolve their conflicts peacefully, then they will turn to physical force. And that’s why we see so much violence and chaos out there in the world.”
“But what about the warlords, who battle each other for territory and power? I don’t think they have any ideals greater than gaining wealth and prestige for themselves. And what about the violence and cruelty that occur closer to home? When we hear another story about a robbery or a killing, do you really think it happens because people have opposing ideals? Or is it just because humans are cruel and selfish and hurt others for their own benefit?”
“Chunmei, I feel like you’re overthinking a bit. Look, there’s the lake I would visit when I was little.”
Shixiong and Chunmei had arrived at the lake that Shixiong had encountered when he was younger. The sun was setting now, and brilliant stains of orange and yellow were splattered over the calm water. A fisherman had returned to shore after many hours of work, and he approached the young couple and greeted them.
“Beautiful view, isn’t it?”
“It is”, the two replied.
“You two are from Hubin, aren’t you?”
“We are.”
“Well, fishing is my hobby, but for my day job I work as a matchmaker in a nearby village. All the families in Hubin come to me for my services. I probably shouldn’t do this, but you two are so clearly in love, so I’ll make a promise. If your families come to me to find you guys a match, I’ll make sure to keep you two together. I’ve never done anything like this before, but I’m old and miserable and my wife is completely unbearable. I still have many youthful regrets of the girl I once knew and loved, and of how I let myself part from her because my parents arranged for me to marry someone else who never even cared for me. I can’t do anything to help myself anymore, but at least I can spare one other couple from my fate.”
Shixiong and Chunmei looked at each other with surprise, then exhilaration, as they began to process their sudden good fortune. The two were very much in love with each other, but neither really thought they had any chance to end up together in the end until that moment.
The fisherman matchmaker wished the two good luck as he went on his way, and the two gazed past the water, both contemplating their dreams for a shared future together. Shixiong looked toward Chunmei, her eyes still in the distance, and in that moment, he realized that he had never seen anyone or anything so beautiful in his life before. He loved her thick dark hair, the excitement and passion in her eyes, the way she smiled and laughed in a way that was empathetic and conscious, yet fun and irreverent. The cold and unfeeling world out there was indeed filled with conflict and violence, cruelty and disappointment, but Shixiong could feel in his bones that he and Chunmei would be all right in the end. They were too young, too hopeful, too in love for the bitter realities of existence to ever catch up to them.
A couple months later, both Shixiong’s and Chunmei’s parents went to the matchmaker to find their children a partner for marriage. Mr. Li was very surprised when his daughter was paired with his employee. Many villagers could not fathom why the teahouse owner would marry his daughter to the son of the village drunk, but Mr. Li knew that Shixiong was a dependable worker and a loyal man, and he gave his assent to the pairing. The two were married, and Mr. Li went into retirement soon after, giving Shixiong ownership of the teahouse.
As Mr. Zhang, Shixiong proved to be an effective manager, and the teahouse thrived under his direction. The couple was widely respected around the village for their success, and Shixiong was proud that the establishment which had been his escape from his childhood misery was now doing so well.
Shixiong and Chunmei had two children, born two years apart. The older child was a daughter named Wenxin. As a little girl, she was bright and curious, and she loved listening to the stories that her mother told her before bed. The younger child was a son named Zhiqiang. He did not share his older sister’s love of knowledge and learning, but he loved to make friends and help other people.
The Nationalist Government had built a new elementary school in a nearby town, and Shixiong and Chunmei were well-off enough to send their children there. Chunmei was elated that her children would learn to read and write, since she and her husband were both illiterate, and she always yearned to know what information the Chinese characters conveyed. Shixiong was also very happy that his children could be educated, and he imagined that the skills they gained would become useful for running the teahouse once they were older.
Shixiong was fully aware that his childhood had been unjust and abusive, and above all he was immensely grateful that his fortunes had changed so drastically. Such a comeback—from the son of the village drunk to a successful business owner, from a mistreated and disdained little boy to a man with children who could read and write—was not unheard of, but it was certainly rare and special. Sometimes, he would wonder why the same Heaven that made one man an emperor or president would put another person, who was no worse or less deserving than the other, into circumstances of such great poverty and abuse. From time to time, the thought occurred to him that the same winds of fortune which blew so favorably for him right now could suddenly turn in the opposite direction, but most of the time his mind preferred to avoid such frightening possibilities. More than anything, he wanted to protect his wife and children from the same acts of destiny that had made his own childhood so miserable.
As Shixiong and Chunmei began raising a family, the Japanese Empire had begun occupying a large swath of Northeastern China, creating a puppet state called Manchukuo. While Manchukuo was ostensibly a constitutional monarchy governed by the last Qing Emperor Puyi, in reality it was a cover for the Japanese oppression and exploitation of the people of the Northeast. The Japanese Army committed numerous acts of mass torture and murder in the Manchukuo puppet state, enraging people all across the nation. Most Chinese could see clearly that the Japanese wished to eventually conquer and occupy the entirety of China, but China was so weak and divided at the time that neither the Nationalists nor the Communists could do anything about it yet.
When Shixiong was 25, the news finally broke that the Japanese had begun a full-scale invasion of China. Chunmei was very frightened and begged Shixiong to move the family further west, where they would be safe from the Japanese invasion. Shixiong, however, was strongly reluctant to leave the teahouse, which had saved him from his unhappy beginnings and built him an honorable life. Every week, there was a new story going around about another horrific massacre that the Japanese Army had committed. The entire village was filled with tension and fear.
One cool afternoon in November, Shixiong needed to make a trip to the same town where his children attended school so that he could meet with a prospective supplier. Upon arriving in the town, he was horrified to see that it had been overrun with Japanese soldiers. All the shops on the streets were closed, and the few civilians who were outside were running around in a panic, frantically trying to avoid the Japanese. Shixiong found a shop owner and asked him about what had happened.
“You would not believe what those Japanese sons-of-bitches just did!”, he replied. “When they got to the school in this town, they entered the building and forced all the students and teachers into one of the back rooms at gunpoint. They then locked the back room and moved several barrels of gasoline into the building. Those Japanese swine then left the school and fired their machine guns into the windows, and the gasoline barrels blew up and enveloped the entire building in a great ball of fire. Not a single child survived!” The shop owner gazed with a look of intense fury into the distance, then continued,
“I swear on my mother’s life, if this is the last thing I do, I will join the Nationalist Army and fight those Japanese dogs to avenge the women and children of our nation!” With this proclamation, the shop owner ran off with the energy that only righteous fury can bestow.
Shixiong could not believe what he had just heard. His life had been going so well up until that point, and it seemed impossible that everything he loved could be taken away from him so quickly. He ran as quickly as he could to where the school once was, only to find an enormous heap of ashes in its place. The finality of the dark, burnt pile overwhelmed him, and he realized that he could not deny the horror that had just occurred anymore.
After running from the burnt school building as quickly as he could, Shixiong returned to Hubin only to see that the Japanese had entered his home village as well. When he got to his house, he saw it going down in flames. Chunmei sat beside a tree, crying. When Shixiong approached her, she ran to him and jumped into his arms, exclaiming,
“When those Japanese bastards got to our house, they went in and looted just about everything of value. Then, they set their flamethrowers to it and it’s now burning to the ground. Thank Heaven that we still have our children and the teahouse, because everything else in the world that once belonged to us is gone now.”
Shixiong cringed when he realized what he would have to tell her.
“Those Japanese pigs have taken our children too. Today I had to visit the town where our children attend school, and when I got there it was completely overrun by Japanese soldiers. I stopped a shop owner and asked him what had happened. He told me that when the Japanese soldiers got to the school, they forced all the teachers and students into one of the back rooms at gunpoint. Then, they put barrels of gasoline in the building and fired their machine guns into the windows. The gasoline barrels exploded, and the school building went up in flames. I went to the place where the school was, and I saw the burnt pile of ashes with my own eyes. I don’t know how else to tell you this.”
Upon hearing this, Chunmei began to sob even more violently. The two embraced each other as hard as they could as they each gazed somberly in opposite directions into the distance.
The next couple of months completely destroyed the two. Now that the Japanese had burned down their original home, Shixiong and Chunmei had to take their remaining money and rent a house from a landlord in the village who was known for his greed and corruption. Even worse, the Japanese occupation had severely depressed the social life of the village. No one wanted to go out anymore because the Japanese would torture or murder people for arbitrary and capricious reasons, and sometimes for no reason at all. Because of this, the amount of people who frequented the teahouse drastically declined. Furthermore, many of the people who came now were Japanese soldiers themselves, and Shixiong and Chunmei were forced to serve them anyway under threat of gunshot or bayonet. Since the teahouse no longer made a profit and they were tired of serving the people who were occupying their country and killing their compatriots, Shixiong made the difficult decision to sell the teahouse off. It greatly pained him that the place where he had escaped his childhood miseries now belonged to someone else, but there was nothing he could do anymore. He returned to performing manual labor, and there was not a day when he didn’t curse his existence and wonder how everything had gone so wrong.
Not long after Shixiong sold off the teahouse, the landlord began demanding greater and greater rent payments from him. Shixiong obliged until he simply didn’t make enough money from his manual labor to pay the exorbitant rent anymore. The landlord then demanded sexual favors from Chunmei in return for the privilege of remaining in their house. Shixiong and Chunmei didn’t want to become homeless, but they prized their dignity above all else. They decided to move out and live on the streets. Shixiong slept in a shrub at night and worked long and difficult hours during the day. The cold nights and biting hunger were almost unbearable at times, but he saw no alternative but to carry on.
If the Japanese occupation had broken Shixiong, then it absolutely crushed Chunmei. Once a happy and lively girl, she was now extremely lonely and depressed. Most of the time, she would stare with melancholy at nothing in particular. When she did talk, she seemed indifferent to pretty much everything. She no longer worked, and Shixiong did not blame her, since she could hardly walk across the street without great effort. Chunmei’s health was clearly deteriorating, and Shixiong could not tell if it was because of her grief or because they were homeless and freezing. He wanted to help her, but did not know what to do. At this point, he could barely even help himself.
Shixiong and Chunmei lived like this for eight long years. No one knew what was really happening in the war, since the Japanese propaganda was clearly untrustworthy, and nobody could verify any of the rumors going around either. Many times, Shixiong was angered by the horrific crimes that the Japanese had committed and resolved to join the Nationalist Army to fight for the freedom of his country. However, he needed to take care of Chunmei and simply couldn’t leave her in the condition she was in. Besides, he understood that he was well behind enemy lines and had no idea how he could even get to Nationalist-held territory. Surely, the Japanese would capture and kill him before he got there. In the end, Shixiong didn’t even know if he had enough courage to fight and die for his nation. Of course he loved China, at least he thought he did. But was it really fair that of all the people who have ever lived in China’s vast land, the duty somehow fell on his generation of young men to die for the country at this hour? Of all the times when he could have been born, why did he enter the world right as the Qing Dynasty crumbled and China entered a long and violent struggle for her own destiny?
September 1945 arrived, and the Second World War was finally over. After the Nationalist Army liberated Hubin, Shixiong and Chunmei rented a house from a different landlord. To celebrate, Shixiong proposed to Chunmei that they had another child. Chunmei seemed indifferent, but verbally agreed. She was soon pregnant, and was still as miserable and solitary as she had been before. Nine months later, she gave birth to a baby boy and passed away three days after that.
Now Shixiong had truly lost everything he had once loved. His children, his teahouse, and now his wife. At Chunmei’s funeral, he was astonished at how few people showed up. After eight years of Japanese occupation, of violence and suffering and despair, everyone in the village seemed to have forgotten about the teahouse owner and his wife. After the funeral, Shixiong returned to his house and realized that his baby son was the only connection he had left in the world to the happy past life he once lived, before the war. He named the boy Fusheng, which means “to live once more.”
The jubilation of China’s victory did not last long. Now that the Japanese had been defeated for good, the Nationalists and the Communists no longer had a common enemy. The two parties attempted to form an uneasy truce, but the coalition collapsed in less than a year and civil war resumed soon after Chunmei’s death. Shixiong did not know which side to support, and he could only look to Fusheng and hope that his son would live a life that was better than his.
Three years later, the People’s Liberation Army captured Jiangsu Province, where Hubin is located. As the Communist soldiers entered the village, they sang enthusiastic songs praising the leadership of Chairman Mao Zedong while the villagers cheered the PLA’s arrival. Shixiong saw this scene and felt content for the first time in an eternity.
“Our Great Chairman Mao has finally reunified the fatherland”, he told his son later that day. “China has gone through a lot of violence and suffering, but our country’s future is now filled with hope. I am so happy that you will grow up in times of peace and prosperity.” The boy did not understand what his father had said and left the house to play with his friends.
The next day, soldiers from the PLA joined a large mob of villagers in dragging the corrupt landlord from his house and hanging him from a tree. When Shixiong saw the landlord’s corpse hanging in the wind, he was filled with happiness, for the Communists were beginning to deliver on their promises of building a New China that was just, where the strong could no longer bully and exploit the weak. The Communist Party’s liberation of China gave Shixiong so much hope that he decided to leave the village where so much sorrow had passed and move to Zhenjiang, which was rumored to be a great fortress of prosperity where job opportunities abounded.
Shixiong quickly realized that Zhenjiang was not what it was cracked up to be. No one knew who he was, and nearly everyone he met considered him a poor rural hick unworthy of the city folks’ respect. He found a job at a textile factory, but the work was boring, tedious, and did not pay well. The only dwelling he could afford to rent was a small, run-down apartment, which leaked from the ceiling and smelled terrible for some unknown reason. Every day, he could hear the sound of the unruly youths living next door partying and doing various stupid activities. Shixiong grew very miserable, and he started to buy cheap baijiu from the convenience store and drank alone after work each day. His drinking quickly turned into a problem, and he began neglecting his young son. Shixiong never beat his son like his father had beaten him, as his nature was too docile and passive for him to resort to violence, but his son nevertheless began to resent him.
Fusheng saw that his father’s alcoholism had become a huge problem, and he started to look toward school for a place where people cared about him and took care of him. He grew enamored by the music and rituals of the Young Pioneers, and rapidly became a true believer in the Communist Party and in Chairman Mao Zedong. Fusheng performed decently in school and worked hard enough, but his true passion became building the socialist fatherland and defending the communist revolution.
As Fusheng grew older, he stopped caring about his neglectful father altogether and devoted his entire life to the Chinese Communist Youth League. His comrades became his family, and the cause of implementing socialism became his sole purpose in life. He loved Chairman Mao and the Communist Party with his entire heart and spirit, and he wanted to do nothing more than to be like Lei Feng and sacrifice his life to serve the Party and the people.
When Fusheng was nineteen, Mao Zedong declared a Great Proletarian Cultural Revolution to eliminate all the vestiges of Imperial China and purge all counterrevolutionary and revisionist elements from the Party. Fusheng was elated by this news and immediately told his father that he would be leaving home and joining the Red Guards. Shixiong was a tradition-minded man and didn’t think this Cultural Revolution was such a good idea, but he knew better than to oppose the will of Chairman Mao. Fusheng left with the Red Guards, and Shixiong was all alone again. Throughout the Cultural Revolution, Shixiong continued working at the textile factory and spent most of his spare time drinking alcohol.
About two years after his son left, one of Shixiong’s coworkers approached him to show him an article in the People’s Daily. “This dude in the picture looks a lot like you”, he said.
The picture in the article showed a middle-aged man, tied up and forced into a kneeling position. His hair was dirty, his clothes were disheveled and torn, and his skin had been violently bruised. The man’s face was an expression of complete terror, and showed bewilderment at how horribly other people had treated him for some reason he could not comprehend. Beside him stood Shixiong’s son Fusheng, flashing a wide smile and holding a revolver. He stood confidently and his eyes looked proudly into the camera. Upon seeing this, Shixiong’s heart sank as he realized what his son had become.
“Which guy looks like me?”, Shixiong asked.
“The man holding the revolver.”
“Huh, what an interesting coincidence.”
“Can you read the Chinese characters?”, asked the coworker.
“No, I’m illiterate. Could you read the article for me?” The coworker took the newspaper back and began to read the news story.
“The defense of the Communist Party from all counterrevolutionary and revisionist enemies, external and internal, is the greatest priority of the Chinese nation at this perilous hour. Chen Jianguo, 45, of Luoyang, has been found to be a sympathizer of the Nationalist bandits and an enemy of our Great Chairman Mao Zedong and of the communist revolution. Comrade Zhang Fusheng, 21, of Zhenjiang, has apprehended this despicable traitor and will bring him to justice.
‘Let this be a lesson to any filthy pig who opposes the will of the indomitable Communist Party of China’, said Comrade Zhang. ‘The great final victory of the Chinese people over American imperialism and Soviet revisionism is inevitable. Long live the Great Communist Party of China! Long live our Great Chairman Mao Zedong!’”
Shixiong felt sick upon hearing his coworker read the article. He was privately aware that he had been a terrible father and had neglected his son due to his alcohol dependence, but he was still horrified that Fusheng could be led to commit such terrible acts of evil.
“Wow, it sure is good that such a disgusting counterrevolutionary was caught and killed”, said Shixiong, knowing full well that it would be suspicious if he said anything that seemed even remotely critical of the Party.
Ten years after Fusheng left to join the Red Guards, Mao Zedong died, and the Cultural Revolution was put to an end. Several months after that, Fusheng arrived home and told his father that he had spent three years as a Red Guard until 1969, when the Red Guards were disbanded. After that, he joined the People’s Liberation Army. When the Cultural Revolution ended, he was discharged from the PLA and decided to return to Zhenjiang once again. What’s more, he met his girlfriend during his time in the Red Guards and had found her again after the Cultural Revolution and brought her home with him. On the train ride to Zhenjiang, a white American had converted the two to a new religion called Christianity. Fusheng told his father that he had committed many terrible sins during his time as a Red Guard, but his belief in Christianity gave him salvation from death anyway.
Fusheng and his girlfriend were soon married, and nine months later they had a baby girl, whom they christened Qiushuang. Shixiong felt very guilty about how terrible of a father he had been and deeply wanted to apologize to Fusheng for everything that he had done wrong. However, he simply could not bring himself to do it, since his son had become simply insufferable. Fusheng tried to make every conversation they had about what a terrible person Shixiong was for not accepting Jesus Christ as his savior, and every attempt Shixiong made at changing the subject resulted in Fusheng either getting angry or ignoring him. Instead, Shixiong decided to atone for his terrible parenting by quitting alcohol and staying sober for good.
Shixiong’s granddaughter Qiushuang became a lively and inquisitive little girl, and she was clever and loved learning. Other children her age saw her as a bookworm and would sometimes made fun of her. She was deeply hurt by this, and spent much of her time as a child alone.
When Qiushuang entered elementary school, she demonstrated brilliance at nearly every subject, from math and science to history and literature. She was even a decent athlete. Her favorite, though, was studying the literature and culture of distant times and faraway places. Even as an elementary schooler, she memorized many ancient poems from the Tang and Song Dynasties and excelled in her English classes, even though few people of her parents’ generation could speak the language.
Qiushuang’s father, however, was dismissive of her daughter’s talents. True knowledge, he said, came from reading the Bible and following Jesus. He told his daughter that her intelligence would do her no good on the Day of Judgement and that she should spend less time reading the Sanzijing and more time reading Scripture.
Because Qiushuang’s father had no interest in his daughter’s abilities, she began spending more time with her grandfather. Although he was illiterate, Qiushuang found him thoughtful, clever, and surprisingly insightful, considering his lack of education. She would ask him questions about everything from the folktales of the Ming Dynasty to the happenings in faraway countries. Shixiong had no knowledge of any of these subjects, and he admitted to his granddaughter that her knowledge had far surpassed his. However, he still marveled at her intelligence and told many jokes that she enjoyed.
After Qiushuang entered middle school, all the adults in her life were astounded by her knowledge and told her that she would one day go to a prestigious university and do great things. She would chuckle upon hearing this and reply, “No, please, you’re too kind.”
When Qiushuang was thirteen, her father bought a newfangled contraption called a television and brought it to their apartment. Fusheng had purchased the television so that he could play episodes from Christian television programs from the West with Chinese subtitles on a VCR, but Qiushuang quickly began watching television herself.
One day, Qiushuang brought her grandfather to her apartment so that he could watch television for the first time. The program that she showed him was a Taiwanese TV show about a group of martial arts fighters who traveled from town to town, standing against evil and defending the weak. In the day’s episode, the travelers came across an old man who lived in a shanty at the edge of a town. The old man told the travelers that fifty years ago, his wife and baby child died after being hit by a drunk driver, and he moved into the shack and became a hermit out of despair. The travelers were at a loss as to how they could help him. In the end, not even the greatest hero in the world could overcome death, or save those he loved from it. After some contemplation and debate, the travelers took the old man to the Taoist temple, where he prayed for the gods to kill him and bring an end to his misery. Right before leaving the temple, the old man became intoxicated by the burning incense and passed out. Upon coming to, he realized that he had awakened in the same place fifty years into the past and was given a single opportunity to save his wife and child. After pushing them out of the path of the drunk driver, the old man then rematerialized in the present day. His memories of his wife and child’s deaths had been wiped away, and memories of the happy fifty years he had spent with his wife raising their family had replaced them. The travelers entered his spacious and clean house, and he had them over for dinner before they set off on the road to the next town again.
As the credits rolled, Qiushuang looked up at her grandfather and saw that his face was streaked with tears.
“Why are you crying, grandpa? Do you not like this episode?”
“No, I love it, my child. I really love it. It’s beautiful.”
One day, when Qiushuang was fifteen, she came to her grandfather’s apartment with a melancholy look in her eyes. Her face was solemn and pensive, and it looked as if she had been crying. She walked to her grandfather’s tea table and sat beside him for several minutes in contemplation before she began to speak.
“We learned about the Nanjing Massacre in history class today.”
Shixiong looked up, gazed at her for a moment, then turned his head back again.
“I just can’t understand how such terrible things could occur in this world. I went to my dad and asked him how God could allow the Nanjing Massacre to happen, and he told me that evil and death exist because humans have sinned against God. Dad then told me that I should stop being a crybaby and find something more important to care about.” Qiushuang’s breaths had gotten very agitated and rapid at this point, and she took a few moments to calm herself.
“But they showed us that picture where the Japanese soldiers take the baby from his mother and toss him up in the air, and then one of the soldiers catches him on his bayonet and impales him. What sin had the baby committed? Why should he have to suffer and die simply because of the mistakes that people before him had made?”
“I don’t know, my child”, Shixiong replied at last. His voice felt heavy with the burden of the pain that he had experienced but could never make sense of. “If I could answer your questions, then I would gladly tell you. But I simply don’t know.”